Thursday, June 25, 2009

Deep thoughts continued:

Dàchéng said...

I notice no mention of real-life friends. Keeping friendships requires effort on your part, and I notice that your general day desn't include anything there. If this is not just an oversight, then you will lose your non-WoW friends if you have not already done so. Letting friendships wither could be a sign of addiction.

This is a great Comment I got on previous post.

I thought it was good enough to continue yesterdays topic.

Dàchéng, Yes I have friends. Though not a lot anymore. In the week, we don't have much time/energy to go out and see each other, but they also play WoW so we put up Vent, and talk while we play. In the weekend, we mostly hangout at my home or at a bar playing some biljarts.

Yet I must say when i was younger, i had a lot more friends, as time passed by though you naturally lose sight of each other. (diffrent home, school, work etc)
The first year i started to work full-time, AND did univeristy I didn't had a lot of time to spend with them, and i lost about half of my mates, later when I met my wife, that little time I had got split in 2. Most of my friends said then and there and litterly: it's uss or her. (Do mind that this was not the first time) I chose her.
My cell has about 348 numbers in it, of which 24 familymembers and 10 worknrs. (i got an extra cell for work so only emergency nrs) The rest were mates. Now i call 3 nrs...
I realised that "Friends" are people who call you when THEY need something. And when you need something, they all dissapear. So I'm left with my "family", my brow's, my Dearest Friends.

You should do good to listen to this piece of advice:
For every 50 friends you got, there will be 1 that's a true friend, one that isnt a M&S to put it in goblin words, only 1 that you will see between being a young-adult and adulthood.
Everyone else, will leave, forget you,find other friends...
there's a line from a song that goes: "Friends are enemies with secret identities, who come around and stab you in the back when you ain't looking"

Now that's exagereted by far. But do think about this: how many friends of yours would dump you for 1 million dollars? how many would you dump? There's probably only one or two that you won't let go.

I'm not saying this out of bitterness, I'm saying this out of wisdom. You (my readers who are saying no) are probably below <24 years old, and think that those friends you have will stay with you all your life. Go to your family and ask how many childhood friends they still see? my mom and dad don't see any, my aunt doesnt see any, my grand-ma doesn't see any, etc etc.

Don't think that having fewer or no friends is a result of addiction. I chose to have less friends, and there wasn't one day I was depressed about it. I make one phonecall and i know that my mate will be running to me. For me that's better then having to call 348 nrs and hoping that half of them show up.
I chose to let the relationship wither, not for the game, not for time but for me. I am happier now.
So right now i have: aquintaces (? spelling) and "family" (my dearest friends)
the first group, I see at work, at my favorite bar, at wow.... And they are fun to be with but thats it.
The second group, is the one I rely on, and those that can rely on me. And I take pride in it, that that group is small.

For the ones Thinking I must be 44 years old and a loner to write like this:

My real name is Dave V.D. I live in Belgium and was born at 18th of august 1988.
So I'm 20y old,
weight: 54Kg
height: 1m72

My favorite hobbies: biljarts, spending time with my wife, reading, programming, hanging out with my brotha from anotha motha, and anything that can test my brain/body to its fullest.
(except contact sports: cant do those anymore - accident) and gaming (including WoW)

Work: I work as an ITer at N-allo and a programmer-analyst in my spare time.
Studies: Management, Acountancy and IT + IT-degree + degree to start my own company.
My IQ: 126-139 (from the tests i took these are my lowest and highest scores)

Favorite colour: Black and red (and green)
Music: HipHop, old rock and hard rock/metal
Movies: action, thriller, comedy.
Food: steak and fries

Anything else just ask.

How can I have wisdom then? Well, let's just say I crawled out of the snake pit and have seen a lot.


  1. I don't have much (Close) friend either, but those who are my friend, really treat me friend.
    (We are talking about 8-12 people)
    1 million dollars trade? No in that circle, and none of them will do that to me either.
    Why? it's more a thing in me than in them, if I sold them out for money, I am not the same guy anymore. So, it's a selfish thing to me too.

    I am sceptical being, and I do kept wonder if there is underneath plotting. It's part of me, built-in defensive function. I can't help but become suspicion by default.

    To those non-close friend, as long as their benifits do not harm me, I'll let them go. We are very alike, I guess, I do want to have my own company as well...
    But I learned from group-working that, if I can't trust someone on a job,
    I can never complete a much larger scale project. I did hired one of my classmate before. I was a little upset because if I do it myself, I can be much swifter, but I can't, since I am full occuiped already.

    Trust is an obstacle for many business, do have a backup plan, but don't be too shy on trusting people, if the odds seems reasonable. I'll comprimise on a reasonable safe relationship with "so called friend" and play along.

    I believe one's world is shaped by their own vision. If you pick grim as the tone, you'll see all grim thing. But you try to see the world with joy, there are many around.

    (I valued the people back in my old pvp server, help anti-faction player out of quest when they are near death.)

    Being defensive will save you from loss, but cannot grant you things.

    Sidenote: I am having problem on pasting text into the comment box here in FF, fine with IE, but the IE openid thing seems keep generating new window

  2. Outside of my guildmates, I only have a few RL friends any more. What seems to happen is, you meet people in school, then you graduate and leave, and you drift apart. My wife and i still have friends from grad school that we still see from time to time, but my guess is that once we get older and more established we'll lose those too, and hopefully gain more. I do know that playing so much doesn't really help, but when you work 60 hours a week you don't have much time except for food, sleep, and work, and the occassional wow.